As a career and retirement coach, I’m trained to help people make life’s transitions. One that I enjoy is helping people transition to retirement. You may think this is an easy transition, after all those years of anticipation, but in fact, many fail to successfully make the transition. After years of waking early, meeting deadlines and commitments, and  having tight schedules, suddenly waking up and ‘doing nothing’ is a shock to the system…and the head!
Many people successfully make the transition. I have friends with vibrant social lives, and some with busy volunteer schedules. They are fully enjoying their retirement days. Others struggle. I made an attempt to retire myself recently, and found it extremely unsatisfying, lonely and I missed having a purpose.
Some observations I’ve made about why people ‘fail’ at retirement are:

• Retiring alone. Yes, those who retire with a partner are much happier and fulfilled when they retire. They have someone to spend time with, someone to develop activities with, and don’t suffer isolation. I’ve seen several individuals retire before their spouse. They end up returning to work in some capacity because they simply can’t fill their days enough.
• Retiring to a new location. While the dream of moving to a retirement home in a different city sounds inviting, it can be just the opposite. You move to a new town where you don’t know anyone, you aren’t working and building community, and the people and lifestyle could very well be quite different than you thought it would be.
• Not having a hobby. Let’s admit it, you need to find something productive to do with your time. Few people are going to be happy just sitting on the front porch sipping iced tea. If you haven’t already developed a hobby, or found some way to volunteer your time, you’re going to be bored, especially in the early years of your retirement.
• Not having a plan. Few people can simply stop working without a plan for how to spend their days. Those who anticipate retirement and ‘try on’ some possible activities for their time, transition much more successfully.
• ISOLATION. Isolation is probably the biggest barrier to a happy retirement. In all of the previous items, you are left to your own devices. Maybe you’ve moved away from family, or away from your network of friends. You end up having very little interaction with other people. Your days can become solitary and depressing. Without natural ways of meeting people, your community doesn’t grow. I remember my mother having difficulty after she was widowed. While she was close to her daughters, the people who lived near her were very different from her New England roots, and she just didn’t ‘click’ with them.

Retirement Options, the organization through which I received my certification, is committed to helping individuals focus on the critical aspects of non-financial retirement planning. Among those most critical: how strongly you identify with your work and finding a replacement, your health and attitude toward aging, your general satisfaction with life, leisure activities, life meaning, adaptability and dependents.
Helping people avoid retirement failure is so rewarding and such fun! I believe everyone deserves the retirement of their dreams – whatever that means to them. Beginning with an assessment, we identify roadblocks to YOUR happy retirement, then develop a strategy to break through them, helping to ensure you have a happy and meaningful retirement. I’ve had a few clients take sabbaticals that allowed them to see how they would fill their days without work. The lessons learned from those experiences, helped them make adjustments to their plan.
Some strategies people have used include:

• Of course, it must be stated that having a solid financial plan is key. Our coaching does not address financial planning, but often a coach will have some planners they can recommend.
• Have a part-time job
• Volunteer for a cause that is important to you
• Take up a hobby
• Ensure you have community of like-minded people
• Talk with family about expectations
• Take care of your health – join a gym, take classes, find a walking group
• Understand your level of adaptability. Do you openly embrace change, or do you struggle?

Taking the time to honestly look at all of these factors will help you remove the rose colored glasses and honestly assess what you want your retirement to look like, and how close your plans are to that ideal.
Everyone can have a happy retirement. It may just take some planning and redirecting your goals.

I've been thinking about the term 'giving up' this morning, and how it freezes so many people into inaction.

“I give up”. You’ve said it. You’ve heard countless people say it. In our society, “I give up” has a negative connotation. It’s looked at as a failure. I think it’s time we put a different spin on it. Let’s think of it as changing your mind or making a different choice, not giving up. Giving up sounds reactive and weak, when in truth, changing the course of your life takes courage.

Sometimes people find themselves in a situation that isn’t optimal for them. Maybe you’re at a job that has become toxic. Or perhaps you’re in a relationship that is no longer good for either partner. Maybe you just made a choice that turns out not to be as optimal as you thought it would be. I’ve been in all of these situations.

When I’m there, I see two choices. I can just stick with it, miserable, stressed out, knowing my life could be better, but embarrassed to acknowledge the situation. Or, I can be brave, know what is best for me, discount any naysayers’ opinions, and make a positive step in my life.

Yes, I’ve quit the job that became toxic. Yes, I’ve left a relationship that was not good for either me or my partner. And yes, I’ve made decisions that turned out not to work. But every time, I overcame the fear of ‘giving up’, and had the courage to make a choice that was best for me. I took control of my life, rather than letting my life run me. And, each time I took the risk, I came out stronger, more confident, and happier.

We have just one life to live. It is our responsibility to live it to the fullest, being the best us we can be. It’s never easy to do, but it is so worth it. Think of the time you spend being unhappy, thinking about your situation, wishing things were different. These are terrible wastes of your time and your life!

I believe we all have the answers we need within ourselves. So, how do we bring them to the surface? Be brave. Write things down. Face your fears. I always like to think, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Then I make a plan to avoid that happening. Talk to people. Hire a therapist who’s impartial. You don’t have to go it alone. Just pick the right people, those who will support you rather than judge you. You CAN do it.

Be Brave. Go for it.

Have you been looking for a new job and find yourself surprised and frustrated that it’s taking so long? Well, let’s start with – IT’S NOT YOU! That’s right. I know after several attempts to land that next job and not receiving an offer is hard. It’s demoralizing. You start questioning yourself, your skills, your personality, well pretty much everything. The good news is it really isn’t you! In my experience, those jobs you missed out on weren’t the right jobs for you anyway. You’ve likely dodged a bullet. The company ghosted you after an interview? Or they were really difficult to interview with? Or they kept changing the schedule on you? Well, if they treat you this way during the interview, do you really think they are going to be better to work with? Likely not.
Let me give you two of the longest job searches I’ve witnessed. Both of these people successfully landed extraordinary jobs. It took FAR longer than they hoped or expected, but in the end, are grateful that they were patient.
Let’s call him Hugh. Hugh had very specific requirements for his next employer. He wanted to work for a particular type of culture, keep his casual attire and appearance, and sought a position for which he had experience, but not education. For his particular career, this was a difficult task. Yet, while it took him over a year, he finally did land in exactly the right job for him. He loves his company, the work he gets to do and is completely happy, despite the time it took. The right job just hadn’t been there at the start of his search.
Esther was in a dead-end job that wasn’t in line with her education. On top of that, it was the most toxic environment I’ve ever heard of. She was under paid, abused in many ways by her employer, and was desperate to move to a job that was in line with her education, feed her passion, and help her thrive. Yes, it took 3 long years – that’s far too long, but she made it. The morning I opened my email and read her news, I literally jumped for joy. She had worked hard, never given up, kept believing in herself and kept trying creative ways to land a new role. Now, most people don’t have to wait 3 years, but this is such a great story in not losing hope and keeping the job search going even when it might feel hopeless.
I always tell clients that the right job WILL be there at the right time. This is the mystical part of the job search. There is no rhyme or reason, no way you can change it, but there are steps you can take to keep the search active and moving forward.

1. Keep networking. Talk to anyone about what you’d like to be doing and the type of company you’re hoping to work for.
2. KNOW YOURSELF and be honest. Understand what you bring to the table that other candidates don’t. Do you have a trait or flaw that you’d like to get rid of before the next job? Well, work on self-improvement. Is there a skill that your competition has that you lack? See if there is a course you can take or volunteer work you can do to add this skill to your resume.
3. Think outside the box. Rather than just seek jobs in your line of work, are there other jobs that could benefit from your knowledge? I watched many people go to work for companies like Amazon or Microsoft because they had industry knowledge in areas those companies wanted to expand.
4. Don’t lower your standards. I always say that job hunting is much like dating. You have to know your non-negotiables (salary, job, culture, etc) and stick to them. Wait for that right job to come around. Taking ‘any’ job will only land you in yet another unhappy situation looking for another job. Caveat: yes, if you’re out of work and need to pay the bills, you may have to take what you can get….BUT…keep looking for that ideal position!

Yes, the job search process sucks. There is no other way to phrase it. Technology isn’t helping either. Companies are relying too much, in my opinion, on automated systems to choose the best candidates. The problem is, what distinguishes you is most likely YOU, something that doesn’t show up on paper. So keep getting out there, keep talking to people and keep believing in yourself. It likely won’t take you 3 years, or even 1 year, but regardless, it will always feel longer than you want.

I've just had my first experience raising monarch butterflies. Just like the caterpillar who transforms into a chrysalis and finally a beautiful monarch butterfly, we each go through transformations in our life. We come out of each phase a different version of our original selves.
I like to think of retirement this way. We never stop being who and what we've been. We simply find different ways of being.
I recently realized quite suddenly that I was tired after working for more than 40 years. While I've been through numerous transformations in my life, I've always been working. It just feels like time to step away from the grind. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my work. I LOVE seeing people find happiness, whether it be a new job or a happy, meaningful retirement. So I will continue working with individuals, particularly helping them transition from full time work into whatever their version of retirement looks like. Making the transition myself, helps me understand what my clients are going through. I've felt the paralysis, the fear, the unknown of what retirement might look like. Now I'm on the other side of that and fully enjoying this next phase. I can be more selective about who I work with and what hours I work. Meanwhile, I can spend more time on the hobbies that always took a back seat. Raising monarchs was a surprise that just fell in my lap. I was in awe of nature's amazing miracle. Each day, I'd visit my caterpillars and watch their journey as they grew from barely visible, to a nearly 3 inch caterpillar. They instinctively knew when it was time to crawl to the top of their cage and turn into a chrysalis. 14 days later, I was stunned to watch each monarch come out of it's chrysalis. Our transformations can be just as stunning, yet natural.
I'm excited for this next phase and would love to help you feel the same joy that awaits you!

When it comes to the job search, nothing gives a person more angst than the negotiation phase. By the time you’ve applied for countless jobs, interviewed or been ghosted, and waited for things to fall into place, it’s difficult NOT to jump when an offer is received. I have one word for anyone in this place – PAUSE.
Yes, PAUSE. Don’t accept on the spot. Give yourself time to consider all the implications of this offer.
Here is a rundown of all you should do and consider BEFORE accepting an offer.

1. When you start your job search, spend some time reflecting on what is important to you. It can be any one of the following, and likely even more. Understanding what’s important to your situation is critical before you reach the offer stage.
   
   1. Salary/Bonus
      
   2. Stock Options/Grants
      
   3. Vacation Time
      
   4. Sick Time
      
   5. Benefits
      
   6. Work/Life Balance
      
   7. Cost of Commuting/Parking
      
2. Know which of the above is a non-negotiable. Determine this now, so you don’t get swayed in the moment. If you need a certain salary, don’t, I repeat, don’t settle for less. If being with your young children every night is key, don’t take the job that expects you to work 60+ hours each week. It’s easier to say no and keep looking than to start the job and want to start looking again. 
   
3. If you didn’t do it before you interviewed, be sure to thoroughly research the company before the offer. Is this the type of company you will be happy and successful at? Are the people the kind of people you’ll enjoy working with? It’s not all about the salary. You have to work with this company and these people at least 40 hours each week. 
4. GET THE OFFER IN WRITING! I stress this because I’ve seen too many people accept a verbal offer, only to regret it later when the salary offered is less than previously promised. If you receive a verbal offer, simply say, “Gee, thanks! I’m really excited to receive this offer. I’ll be happy to consider it once I receive it in writing”. No decent company should expect you to accept an offer that isn’t in writing. If they do, then I’d question the company.
   
5. Once you have the offer in writing, let them know how long you wish to take to consider it. I learned the hard way to ALWAYS sleep on it at least one night. If you are interviewing with other companies, or think you may be receiving another offer, give yourself the right amount of time to consider. After all, they took, what, 3 weeks to make the offer after the interview? Give yourself time as well. 
   
6. Sit down with whoever is important in your life and consider the offer. Here are key items:
   
   1. When you consider the salary and cost of benefits you pay out of pocket (healthcare, LTC) does it add up? If you were making $60,000 with $100/month in healthcare, and the offer you receive is $62,000 with $200/month in healthcare, your net increase is a mere $800/year. Make sure the entire compensation package is adequate.
      
   2. Which brings me to another issue. Don’t just think SALARY. Think COMPENSATION PACKAGE. This includes all of the items listed in #1 above.
      
   3. How low are you willing to go in your compensation? If you were making more than needed and you have decided to make a change that is worth a lower salary, know your numbers. I made this choice once when I made the choice to move from tech to non-profit. I calculated my ‘number’, and was willing to take a drop in salary for a career change that was the best choice of my life. In addition, the organization covered 100% of my healthcare and allowed me several educational benefits not available at my previous employer. At the end of the year, I actually made more money with a lower salary!
      
7. Once you’ve assessed the offer and given yourself time to consider it, respond with your counter…and I believe you should always counter! Thank them for the offer and provide your counter along with your justification. What is the value you bring to the job? What additional costs will you incur to take this position? I once had a client who asked for paid parking because she was going to have to drive into the city and park for this job. And she got it!
   
8. Still afraid to counter? Remember this. By this point, of all the candidates they have interviewed, they chose YOU. They want YOU. So, you ask for a little something more in the way of compensation? Likely, they expect it. Companies seldom offer the top dollar they are willing to pay. Is this a game? Sadly, yes, but things haven’t changed….yet.
   
9. Another situation that might arise is having multiple offers, or expected offers coming in. This is when it can really get fun! Companies love to win a candidate that other companies want too! Say you receive an offer from Company A, but you are a finalist with Company B. Tell Company A you would like time to consider the offer. Then immediately call Company B, explain briefly that you’ve received another offer, but they are your first choice and would they be able to move things along a bit quicker? If they want you, they may just be able to speed things up on their end so as not to lose you.
   
10. And finally, once you accept an offer, call any other company you’re interviewing with and withdraw. If your gut is having trouble with that, don’t accept the offer. While it is possible to walk away after accepting an offer, it causes bad blood and in most cities, the business community is small. You can avoid this by following the previous 9 steps and being sure the offer you accept is one you can live with.
    

As a career coach, I get asked a lot of questions about the job search – a LOT! I woke up thinking about them and thought I would share those most frequently asked.

Q: I’ve always gotten every job I’ve applied for. That doesn’t happen anymore. Why?
A: The market and technology have changed. First, thanks to automated application systems, there are more people competing with you for those jobs. It’s no longer just a local market. Second, companies have gotten very impersonal in their searching methods; seeking out key words and qualifications. While they may end up with a great candidate, this process systemically eliminates other great candidates.
 
Q: I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs online, but rarely hear anything back.
A: Ah! This is my pet peeve. Thanks again to the Automated Tracking Systems (ATS), machines are now scanning resumes in search of key words. Do they appear? In what order do they appear? How recently do they appear? You can never know exactly how a company has set up their ATS, so it’s difficult to beat the system. Your chances of getting selected are slim. The highest number of successful applicants I’ve ever found is 25%. So, your chance of ‘getting through’ are extremely low. There are hundreds of suggestions on how to beat the system out there, but I don’t see the numbers changing much.
 
Q: So, if my chances are so low with an ATS, how do I get noticed?
A: As much as people don’t want to hear this, the answer is Networking. The good news though, is that this doesn’t mean going out to events with hundreds of people and trying to get noticed. You can network one on one with people you already know. Reach out. Let people know you’re looking.
 
Q: How do I increase my chances?
A: The one thing I recommend that surprises people, and actually makes them uncomfortable, is to narrow your search. Do your research and identify the top 10-20 companies that offer jobs in your field, meet your values and personality, and provide the requirements you seek. Not only will you land a job sooner, but you’ll waste less time going after jobs that don’t meet your criteria. Why apply to jobs that pay too little, or don’t have the work/life balance you seek? Taking the time to land at the RIGHT company, will help ensure you are happy with your work.
 
Q: Will a company withdraw an offer if I counter?
A: No. I always encourage my clients to negotiate and I’ve never seen a company withdraw an offer, especially when it’s done professionally. Counter multiple times, or with unreasonable demands, and yes, they may walk, but not the first time.
             
I hope these will help you in your search. Be confident, do your research, and go out there and land that next great job!

Do I, or do I not, pay someone to write my resume for me? This is a question many professionals that I have encountered ask. My short answer is no, do not hire someone to write your resume for you. Hire someone to help you craft a resume that tells your story in YOUR voice. My approach when working with clients is to have them tell their stories first. We then take those stories and craft strong, action-oriented bullets on the resume. The result? A resume that sounds like you, in your voice, telling your stories.

I’ll share a story from my own history. About 10 years ago, I paid what I feel is an exorbitant fee, $900, to have someone write my resume. After just one meeting and completing an extensive information sheet, well sheets, I received a resume that looked AMAZING! Yes, amazing. The problem was, I didn’t recognize the person in the resume. It didn’t look, feel or sound like me. The person in this resume was an executive seeking an executive position. Neither of these applied to me. At the time, I was a leadership development educator seeking program manager roles; a far cry from the Chief Learning Officer that jumped off the page of this resume.

This story has become an underlying purpose for my work. When you are in job search mode, YOU are the product and salesperson. It’s true. And, like any salesperson, you have to believe the story you tell. The best way to have a story you can believe in and tell, is to tell it in your own words. Only then does your authentic self come through. Try and be someone else, and you’ll ultimately fail in your pursuit of the right job. Either the employer will sense a mismatch between you and your story, or you will end up being hired into the wrong company that doesn’t share the same values as you.

So, ok, I understand. Not everyone enjoys writing, and fewer enjoy ‘bragging’ on themselves. That’s where I come in. My approach is to help you tell your stories, then work WITH you to craft resume bullets that you can relate to; that represent the YOU who is applying for that job. Let them see YOU. If you resonate with them, they will hire you and you’ll be happy. Try and be someone you’re not, and you may still get hired, but will you be happy? I believe in helping my clients land jobs that share their values; that provide the work environment where they will thrive.

So, let me ask you. If you were in front of the one person in the world who you’d like to impress, would you leave telling YOUR story to someone else? I think not. Still not convinced? Ok, spend the big bucks and let someone else write your resume. But when that resume doesn’t get the results you’re seeking, call me. I’ll help you tell YOUR story in YOUR words. The authentic you that will spend 40+ hours a week working with these people will thank me….and you!

​Throughout my years coaching individuals through the job search process, I’ve observed that even more frightening than the interview, is negotiating the offer. People, especially women (a shocking 68%), simply don’t try to negotiate, accepting the first offer made to them. Failing to negotiate has a long-term impact on your income. If you settle for a lesser amount upon hiring, all salary increases are based on that smaller amount. Additionally, when you change jobs, the previous job’s salary will be less, possibly leading to a lower offer. I believe negotiation is the most crucial step in the job search process.
Most people avoid negotiating because it’s just too scary. The most common fear is that the company will rescind the offer because you countered. Let me put that fear to rest. No company will withdraw an offer because you countered. Now, if you keep going back and forth and changing your ask, that’s a different story. But one counter offer is not only acceptable, but in many cases, expected. So, here is how to prepare yourself to assess, and if necessary, counter the offer you receive.

1. Do your research. Use Payscale.com or other similar sites, to determine your market value for your level of education, experience, and location. This is your strongest supporting evidence! Use sites like Glassdoor.com to see comparable salaries for the company you are considering.
2. Understand, and write down, your personal needs. Is salary king? Or vacation time? Benefits? When negotiating, consider the entire compensation package, not just salary. Know your needs, desires, and what is and is not negotiable. While not everything can be negotiated, it’s important to know where to begin.
3. NEVER, never, ever respond to an undocumented offer! I have seen horror stories where what was verbally offered was not what the person received after they started the job.
4. ALWAYS ask for time to consider an offer. Nobody should expect you to accept on the spot. This gives you time to consider the offer without the emotional response to receiving it. It also gives you time to speak with a partner, spouse, or other trusted person. Plus, if you are interviewing with other companies, it gives you time to touch base with them before accepting. You may have a ‘better’ offer possibly coming from another interview. Contact the recruiter and let them know you’ve received an offer, and would love to see if there is any way to accelerate conversations about your candidacy. I have seen companies make things move more quickly for someone they were very interested in. They’d rather rush things a bit than lose you to another employer. This also helps avoid Item 7 below.
5. Using the research and homework you did to prepare, you can more easily assess the offer and determine what, if anything, you want to counter with. The easiest things for an employer to change are salary, signing bonus and stock. Others like vacation, remote work, and work schedule can be dictated by HR and less flexible, but don’t let that stop you from trying!
6. Respond politely, preferably by email to have the offer and counter documented. It’s not typical, but I have seen misunderstandings arise from verbal conversations. No polite counter will cause the employer to rescind it. Keep your counter short and to the point, expressing your pleasure with receiving an offer and joining the team but with some adjustment.
7. Once you have accepted the offer, YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE OFFER. Do not negotiate any further. The time for that was in Item 6. To do anything else is bad form, and could result in a rescinding of the offer.
8. One thing I am often asked, is “Can I accept a better offer if one comes through, even if I’ve already accepted a first?” Well, obviously the answer is yes, BUT……  Declining an offer after you’ve accepted is extremely bad form, and it causes a lot of bad blood. In today’s fast paced, super-connected world, you don’t need any bad blood out there. The proper thing to do after accepting an offer, is to contact any other company you’ve interviewed with to withdraw your name from consideration. If you’ve followed along, you would have already reached out to other companies in Item 4. Having said all of this, if you do find yourself with an amazing offer dropping in your lap after accepting another and you know it’s the job you want/need/etc, then the best course of action is to call the recruiter/hiring manager from job 1 and have an open, honest discussion with them. People understand ‘an offer too good to turn down’.  Again, just do so respectfully and professionally…and….do be prepared for a negative response. This company has invested time and effort, and turned away other qualified candidates to make you the offer. Those other candidates may no longer be available, causing the company to start at square one. So, is it possible? Yes. Is it advisable? Not so much.

And one last note, remember, you are assessing the employer as much as they are you! They’ve already made you their number one choice. They want YOU! So, at this point in the game, you do have some amount of power to negotiate. Don’t waste your chance.

After the initial glow of entrepreneurship has dimmed, reality sets in. Yes, you are able to spend your days the way you want, building your business, doing what you love, BUT you also have to MANAGE your business. As I look back on my progression from fledgling entrepreneur to successful  entrepreneur, I’ve noted a number of lessons I’ve learned about investing in my business that I now share with the clients I work with who are just launching a business.
Invest in your business! I know it’s hard to justify spending money , especially at the early stages. But think. You’ve started your business to DO WHAT YOU LOVE. That likely doesn’t include accounting, marketing, and scheduling meetings. Those are time suckers, especially if they are not your forte. Even as a former accountant, I found it wise to hire my accounting out.

1. Hire an accountant, especially for taxes. If you simply hire someone to file your taxes, you’ll save money in the end. An accountant is likely to be less expensive than penalties and interest you’ll pay from filing incorrect taxes.
2. Subscribe to an online calendar tool. I love Calendly.com. I save time and my clients can schedule and reschedule as needed. You can even set it up to collect fees at the time of booking! These cost less than $20 month and save you HOURS of emails and phone calls arranging your schedule.
3. Hire a coach. You need someone to bounce ideas off of. No, your husband, best friend or others close to you are not the best for this role. You need someone objective who will be straight with you without an agenda at hand. Have a different coach for different phases of your business. I help people put together their business plan, conceptualize things and get started. Then there are coaches to help you learn to be a CEO, and some to help with marketing, etc.
4. Take time off! This is a hard one. I used to work 7 days a week, 12+ hours a day on my business, spending all my time giving to my clients and my business….until I realized the rest of my life was suffering. Limiting my work to weekdays and taking evenings off, restored my sanity and my relationships. I lost my Mom shortly after making this commitment and am so grateful that I made time to spend with her. Life is short! It’s not all about the business.
5. Find a way to work outside of your home. Isolation is one of the biggest negatives of being an entrepreneur. I invested in a co-working office that provides not only a wonderful ambiance for my client meetings, but people who have become, in a sense, coworkers who I share those colleague-type moments with. Get involved in professional organizations that support your line of work. There are plenty out there. Even check out MeetUp. There are many groups for what you do.

 
Those are my top 5. What are yours?